This is Ethan. The kid who went all the way to the book fair in Philly with me and did not want to buy a book. He came for one purpose: to go to a gift shop.
We ran out of time and had to head back to the Bronx without going to a gift shop. So, he spent his 10 dollars on food, pizza and soda to be exact.
When he complained about not being able to go to the gift shop, I promised him that we would set up our own gift shop at the center…with items from the museums in Philadelphia.
It took a lot of internet searching but finally, I found toys, books, games, journals and even candy to sell. We set up our own store at the center and it was a success! We had four books signed by authors (that no one brought), Benjamin Franklin Journals (that staff brought), Liberty Bell Sharpeners (that kids brought and got in trouble with their teachers with), and then popular toys like play dough and frozen dolls that they sold for two dollars. He was the owner and made almost 100 bucks selling merchandise to parents and children after he finished his homework. He even hired his friend, Brianna.
Today, during Circle time they will get paid and honored for creating an idea and working on it…(aka, nagging Ms. Lilly until they had their way).
But- Now we have a dilemma.
The dilemma is not how much I should pay them but should Ethan get paid? After a week of being a great sells person, he seemed to be on a mission of mischievous acts!
On Tuesday during a presentation about culture in Africa; he sat in the front and talked and laughed with his friends. The presenter had to stop talking to reprimand them.
Then, on Thursday, he joined another little boy in teasing a child about having ‘fake’ Jordan sneakers (which really got me upset).
I want to pay him. But I also want to teach him a lesson. How can both be achieved?
10 gift card to barns and nobles and a book on African culture and heritage.
Thanks Sam! I know if I get a gift card from the book store the chances of him using it is very low…
Hmmm….maybe advise Ethan that his pay will be granted upon one condition. That he share with the child he was teasing or that he complete some sort of civic duty before receiving his stipend. He does need to understand that he’s done a great job with managing the shop and that you’re very proud of him, however his actions have an effect on others and you’re not pleased with his recent choices. When he grows up, similar behavior can result in termination from a job he loves.
I think that’s a grand idea Torria. I didn’t do the civic duty because I couldn’t think of one in particular but as time goes on, maybe next week, something will come up and allow him and the little boy he teased (along with his friend) work together. Maybe planting flowers outside together. He did get paid and he also got a long talk about his behavior!
So…I asked my mom what she thought too lol and I agreed with her. Since I have some back ground on Ethan and you acknowledged that he is normally a good kid, this is the conclusion we came to. First you must keep your word by paying him. You want to still encourage the good he did so you have the right idea about still paying him. Since he’s not normally a problem, just have a talk with him. Tell him that what he did with the gift shop was a good example and behavior, but his behavior following it wasn’t. You can even go as far as asking him why he did the things he did. Just have a good talk with him and try to get to the bottom of the spontaneous flair up. If he continues in this behavior then the punishment should be not allowing him to participate in something fun or taking a privilege away. When you pay him you can say something like “I’m paying you because I believe in keeping my word, now it’s your responsibility to keep your word and not behave the way you did.” Encourage that he has to keep being an example of good for others to see. Hope this helps!
lol! Thanks for asking your mom too!! So, I stuck to my promise and he got paid his money for working in the store but he also had a long conversation before the entire group of children about his behavior and had to give us a public apology about his actions.
Today must have been his day because after all of that, he won the game the children played and got prize (a lego journal) out of the prize box. However, I believe he learnt his lesson.
If he’s usually a well behaved child, then I would definitely reinforce how much of leader and role model he was in raising funds for his peers to see. Then, I’d add how important it is to lead by example those times he didn’t. Making him feel responsible to lead by example may give him a sense of pride to become that leader amongst his peers. Also, try to ask questions that will cause him to tell you “why” he wanted to misbehave. If that doesn’t help, then you might engage his parents.
I am glad we did not have to involve his parents. We spoke to him about his behavior during circle time and he got up before all the kids and apologized for his behavior! I did not ask him questions (this reply came afterwards) but next time I would consider asking children questions before just telling them what they did was wrong and to apologize. Thank You!!!!