My girlfriends are always starting something. That is why I am mad at them now. We are living together in the city and life for us is always busy and really full of life. Something is always happening. Tonight it happened at the supermarket.

It all started when we went to Dagostings two weeks ago.

We were chit-chatting as usual and putting food in the cart. We usually shop together if its heavy shopping and going to Dag is not similar to the Bodega. It’s a trip for us. Full of fun and of course food! (Like the alliteration?!) Anyways, when we got to the counter I notice the cashier. I thought he was handsome. But I kept my thought to myself. My roommates like to blow things out of proportion if you know what I mean. I didn’t tell them what I thought until we got of Dag. They thought he was far from a knock-out.

Lilly, really? He could hardly work the cash register.

Yeah, if he could not work a cash register, what makes you think he could handle you.

Listen y’all, I am not interested in him! I just think he is cute. That’s all I am saying. I don’t wanna marry the guy! Besides he didn’t recognize me!

My girlfriends are always jumping to conclusions, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, to-night we went back to Dag and had fun shopping once again. Singing along to the music, make believing the cart was a car, swinging the cart really fast around corners. Oh, one of my friends almost ran down an old couple driving all crazy. She made a sharp left into the cookie aisle. It was funny. After we passed them of course. They didn’t think so though. We did the walk of shame while passing them,  after that we cracked up.

Moreover, we got to the front of the store to check out and my crazy girlfriend pushed the cart to the check it yourself aisle when there was a free register not to far away. We had to race against a couple with two carts to the register. And we almost won. Would have won if she did not start arguing about something I put in the cart. She acts like she wants to save money then is the first one to eat what I pick out. If she only wants generic brands why she the first to eat non-generic brands?! By the time we finished arguing there was no free register in Dags. We had to wait in line.

But for me it was all good. My other friend (its three of us) realize that we were going to get the cashier we got the last time. You know, the one who I thought and still thinks is handsome. (Yeah, after seeing him a second time I moved him from the cute list to the handsome list).

You know, I think Lilly has somewhat of a good taste. He’s not that bad.

The argument was over and now we were looking at magazines and trying to talk about he cashier without anyone noticing.

Number one, I know I have good taste. Number two, I just think he is handsome. Nothing more. So when we get to the register, I can pack the bags. You girls don’t have to try to match.

Aww, Lilly. Come on. You always backing out.

See why I don’t like telling you girls anything? You take it to the next level. I don’t want anything to do with no cashier! Listen, I’m not even playing. I would walk out of the store. Don’t say anything.

So we got to the register. And you know how your girls can act. You already know. I kept my head in the Ebony Magazine I was reading. Not even interested anymore. They always got jokes. I can’t believe they gave my digits to a man who works at Dags. Not even feeling that.

God Put a Rainbow in the Sky

There are times when you can feel good.

You know when good is going to happen or when someone is going to do something good or when someone said something good.

You know when something is going to taste good because God blessed you with a good sense of smell.

You just can feel good.

And on those days- it is usually, well sometimes cloudy outside.

I read before  the sun don’t come out in rainy weather but when you look them up they are still together.   If you look up the definition of the sun and the sky they would be in the same catergory. The sun and the rain both come from the same sky.

Usually, we look for summer days because the weather brings ease and comfort. But is every day in summer really that great? Or every raining day during fall really that gloomy? God can put a rainbow in the sky when you least expect it.

 In addition, it can snow when you are not even looking. It gives me joy to look at the snow falling but lately its been snowing quitely behind my back. I’ll go outside and see snow on the ground. I’ll say to myself- “Hey, I never saw the snow falling!” (Snow falling is so beautiful it makes me feel happy.)

Today was one of those days for me where God put a rainbow in the sky and it was snowing behind my back. It was such a sweet day. Yet, I can’t say what exactly happened.

I went to the library early this morning and met with a few early birds. I actually taught for two hours and had so much fun helping someone out. We had time to swap stories about growing up before his mother came to pick him up.

One story Jesus (my student) told me was about his trip to the bowling alley. He was 7 years old and his mother was telling him how to roll the ball towards the pins. He was goofing around and instead of the ball heading towards the pins it sliped off his fingers at the wrong moment and after hitting him in the head, went flying behind him where a man was standing tying his shoes. It hit the man on the ankle and came back fast hitting Jesus on the ankle.  Jesus’ mother was up set that her son – did not listen to her and now he hit a stranger who was hurt and upset; however, the only thing she could do in her anger was say sorry to the gentleman then take wounded Jesus to the emergency room.  And because there was very few in the library we laughed out loud about this story.

 I helped people and they appreciated it. And that’s my rainbow.

Tell me the Story!

Today I met a little thrid grader named Elian Abinder. He spoke with a strong spanish accent. Actually I met him a while ago but today was our first day doing homework together. He was a character.

Besides him being  filled with a lot of sugar and still stocking up on candy and soda, I could not figure out if he was showing off or if he normally acted this loco. Not a bad loco, just funny. 

When I asked Elian what was his name, he wrote it down then made sure I pronounced it the spanish way. I had to say it with the accent to please him. He then proceeded to tell me what his name meant. I didn’t even ask. He just started telling me how a boy was swimming and a man named Elian saved the boy and that’s why his mom named him Elian.

What’s your name?

When I told him my name was Lilly he started to laugh.

What does Lilly mean?

It’s a kind of flower.

What? A flower? Why would your name be flower?

Okay, Elian. Why don’t we get back to your homework?

I wanna know your story!

What story? The meaning of my name?


Well, it is long. It takes time.

He then set up in front of me and said I have time!

How about after these math problems?


So we finished the math sheet. I started to tell him about my name but he was so hyper I don’t think he heard a word I said. Plus  there were other students around who started talking about their names. He made it to a one person show when he started giving demonstrations on how he would act if his name was mine or the little girl across from me. He started throwing punches into the air and rolling on the floor. Then he took on leg and stomped it on the stool and said “I am Elian!” While pounding on his chest. What a scene. And all this time I am looking at him like if he lost his mind.

He promise to come tomorrow as a better person…


29 of January

I did feel him looking at me out of the corner of my eye.  He kept singing and I kept looking. I felt I was searching. For what? Not sure because like I told you I have many Bibles. I did enjoy the music and the singing and even the feeling I was getting from him. It was a strong chemistry. Finally he broke the silence.

May I help you?

I knew I didn’t really need help. After all, I was in the Bible section. But I wanted to say something more than, no thanks. But I didn’t know what to say.

No, thanks.

When our eyes met we both smiled. I knew he wanted to keep talking.

You looking for a Bible?

Well, I was in the Bible section, wasn’t I. However, I definitely was not searching for a Bible.

No, hum. Just looking around. This here is a nice store.

When I complimented him on the store I wasn’t lying. However, I wanted to add that it look disorganized. One can tell an interior designer was not at work here. Stacks of Books were all over the place and to make it worse there was very little walk space with all the book rackets there.

Thanks, I run it with my brother.

Okay. Do you have any journals?

yes, we have a few.

You keep a journal?

yep. Since I was a little girl, I enjoyed writing.

What do you write about?

Well, life in general. Do you write?

No, I sing.

I notice. You have a great voice. What do you sing about?

Life, life in general.

Wow, I thought. A guy with a good sence of humor. I thought for a moment he was mocking me but then I realise that singing about God is singing about life in general.

You are correct! Life is in God. Why not sing about him? So, do you at least write music or lyrics?

Yeah. I do that kind of writing. I love to write music.

Someone is speaking well of You

Someone is speaking well of you

Usually you tend to think about the bad that people say

today someone is speaking well of you

they remember the good that you have done

they think you are a good person

they see you as a role model, a person who made them become

a success

they are not just thinking of you- get that straight

they are speaking of you.

their thoughts are out there in the universe

their thoughts are pass paper and ink, typing and blogging

they appreciate what you have done so much, your name is on their tongue and is in good standing

so give yourself a pat on the back

for that someone is the person who you thought would never speak well of you.

Too soon Old, Too late Smart

The older I get the more worried I am about what I say to people.  Not because I feel I am going to have less friends, I already know about getting older and having less friends. I notice that people ask me how I am doing to see what exactly I am doing. Not because they really care. Most of the time, I don’t want to answer their nosey questions but don’t know how to say- you don’t care and I don’t want to tell- in a much gentle way. People tell me I have the “blunt” problem. Sometimes I just say things because it is the right thing to say; however, everyone else think it’s not. Or I ask questions out of curiosity not because I am mean.

For instance, one time at school there was a group of us holding hands and praying. One of the guys who was holding my hand had a sweaty hand. His hand was so filled of sweat that I really wondered why! Right after prayer I asked him, Why is your hand so sweaty? And everyone said “Lilly?!, oh she would be the one to ask that – out loud” And to this day I still want to know exactly why someone hand would sweat as much as his did. We were only praying.

So, to help this talking condition that I don’t like I begin praying on it. Which is working because I am not even talking to my friends as much neither do I feel the need to. I still consider us close; however, I don’t have that much to say. I hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship, which I don’t think it will. I have been through a lot to know when to bring things to God. I know that friends can not help me with half of the things I talk to them about. Even when I do vent to them. They can only give me their opinions in certain situations; however, I am grateful for them.

On the other hand, it’s not really a talking condition or problem that I am trying to control. It is life. It is lessons. No matter what happens there will always be a moment where I may slip and need perfection. This is that moment.

I also find myself dropping people off my friends list because they are not positive or people who I can grow around. And this leads to me not talking as much about things I used to talk about.

You grow and learn to cope with it, what ever it is.

Too soon old, Too late Smart ‘The Statute  of limitations has expired for all Childhood Traumas” Quincy Jones

Couples Today

I am not the type to pry into people private lives. I sometimes mind my business. Okay, I am nosey but not a busy body. I just like to learn why people would do certain things or act in different ways so I would know. Is that prying? Anyways, I guess I am trying to say I don’t really care that couples today- wait yes I do care cause if I didn’t care I would not be blogging about it.

It just bothers me that so many people get married then divorce and remarry and then it seems like the world is better for them. What are we saying to our youth? That its okay to get married fast? Or that marriage is not a serious thing anymore? And then the same married folks want to say its not right for people of the same-sex… not that I am for same-sex marriages either. I don’t think any of them are being just! How you going to dishonor God and yourself by getting a divorce? And worse- by marrying someone of the same sex. Thats not right.  America is in a bad state. Really is. In terms of marriage.

It’s hard to know who is married to whom in the celebrity world. They are always breaking up. It probably is hard to stay together with the media (not me) all up in their business but they should work something out. It’s really sad.

A lot of the movies that a lot of my friends list as their favorite on their Facebook prove the point that marriage is not as vital to the main steam anymore and its tricking down making it the norm when it is just wrong. I am thinking about movies like Brown Sugar and Why did I get Married?

I just received my Ebony issue in the mail. The February issue with Kimora and Djimon on the cover. As soon as I saw  them on the cover together my heart dropped. I like them as people.  But not their message about marriage.

And Ebony- of all magazines? What are you trying to say to the community about marriages? First you preach that we should stay together then you get celebrities  who are doing  the exact opposite? In the article,  Djimon said that Russell Simmons, Kimora Simmons ex, “came with absolutely open arms to me”.  That seems weird to me. Like if men are no longer jealous of their girl friends or worse- wives- being with other guys. I guess not?

At least in Tyler Perry’s Why did I get Married the Mike character did show a little jealously when his wife came with her new “half”. And I am not saying Shelia should have stayed with Mike but it seems being single is never an option anymore.

But listen to this one- back to Djimon Hounson and Kimora- He’s saying this about Russell: ‘ ” I thought maybe he would get all freaked out, because if I had to put myself in that setting…” the actor’s voice trails off.’ ”  So, I am guessing that if it was the other way around, Djimon would show his envious side.   That is not the only article I read in the Ebony magazine where the men seem to get a long with their wife second husbands. The other one was about…well, I’ll stop here. I’m sure you get the point now. Marriage is holy and that’s the way it should stay. Till death.

I’m glad to be in the Service

So we all heard what happened to Haiti early this week.  I am thankful that an earthquake did not hit where I live. I am grateful for life. However, I know that I am not free to do as I please just because death did not hit me this time. I know I have to constantly kill my flesh for Christ and be ready to go whenever he wants to take me. I know God gives second chances but He is still in control and just because I say “I repent” doesn’t mean he will forget what I did. I am always at his mercy. He is good regardless. For this, I am glad I am in His service. Haiti is in my prayers.

I pray for the children who lost their parents.

I pray for the parents who lost their children.

The Country.

The great people with heart who are in Haiti.

All who are dealing with death for the first time.

I pray for those who are becoming bitter because of  the situation they are in, that God give them a loving heart.

I pray for the people’s belief in God.

I pray for those in America and else where who think they are at an advantage because of their living conditions.

I pray that God show them that only those who are sleep in Christ are truly safe. No where out of God’s will is safe.

I pray that Haiti continues to get the help she needs.

I pray for the stars who are contributing to Haiti. May their hearts be in the right place.  Because in the end, its not about who knows that you gave but if you were giving cheerfully. God loves a cheerful giver.

I saw pictures of Haiti all this week and after seeing the images and shedding tears and praying prayers constantly, I found myself wanting to be in Haiti to help- which I know will not happen. I have no relatives there and I know very few people from there but I already knew about its social issues from reading the book: Brother, I’m Dying by Edwidge Danticat. I knew already that it was a country suffering and even though thousands of people died and were injured by this earthquake, something had to happen- soon or later to turn the world’s eyes to Haiti’s state of living.

Back Again

So, I started teaching at the library once again. Did I tell you already?

I started this week. Today, Thursday, was my third day this year.

I may go back downtown to see if I could get my job back. Hopefully, I will go tomorrow.

I met a handful of new students. Lately, I’ve helped them with their spelling words.

I always look for ways to have fun with them so they won’t get bored when I test them.  I include

other students around to take part in the spelling fun. We had a spelling bee and I also gave them a timed spelling test.

I hope those who I helped all get a 100%. I also met one parent.

I really like the library and enjoy working there; however, I am still looking…

What I like the most about the library is the children. It’s just so much fun.

However, I need something I love just as much or more that pays good money….